I miss my friends

With about 8 weeks of school left, I would really like to see these people again. I don't think we ever had a real outing where everyone was actually there. That picture is from Summer 2008 and they are probably the most people that actually showed up that day. Until now, I haven't gotten the chance to hang out with everyone again and senior year is coming to an end. Everyone seems to be caught up with school, work, boyfriends/girlfriends, cars, or lifting weights. I don't think that's a problem at all, but I just wish we could all hang out again. I'm tired of planning outings that never work out or hearing about outings that certain people aren't invited to. We're growing up so fast and it sucks that we can't do anything to make time go slower.

I know growing up is inevitable, but it's happening too fast and I don't think I'm ready to handle the real world. I like doing crazy shit and not giving a fuck about what people think. Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay.

Ugh

Because it's my time of the month, I felt really crappy the entire day. I felt like an emotional clam, eating my feelings away and taking the longest nap ever. It's already 9PM and I haven't done any homework at all. Fock. 

I guess the highlight of my day was eating Subway after a really long time. We went to UH Manoa for our AP Spanish exam practice test, which was crazy. I am seriously going to fail that exam. HELP ME. 

Still

And in the end, my heart is still alive.
Beating, pumping that blood, and still loving.
Keeping it locked up. It belongs to nobody.

Spring Break

Starts today! Can't wait for the planned and spontaneous events that will happen.

I started my night off by watching I love you, man with some friends. Tomorrow night I get to watch my two favorite people, Lexi and Christian, perform Footloose at Mamiya Theatre. I'm pretty excited for that. Since I always forget to make Lexi signs at her performances and since this is Christian's first production, I'm going to actually make them something for tomorrow.

I must say that I really like Drizzy Drake's music. I didn't even know he plays "Jimmy" from Degrassi. I'm possibly going to download his mixtape for free, legally of course.



To end my night:
"Make no apologies for who you are."

I'm done feeling sorry for myself.
Good night.

Black hole

I feel like I'm going through a cycle.

I'm not being myself lately.
I'm having emotional spams.
It's sickening.

I wish it was so easy to force myself to feel a certain way.
But that's impossible. I'm tired of denying how I truly feel.
My stomach feels sick, but I'm not starving from food.
I feel so alone and vulnerable at home.

I'm hopeful, yet hopeless.
I lack affection.

One more day

...TIL SPRING BREAK.


Positive events of today:
1. No quiz for Economics and Physiology
2. Meeting Kailen Scott, my newly born cousin
3. Eating adobo for dinner
4. No homework tonight
5. No tests tomorrow
6. Looking forward to sleeping early

Bitter

The iced coffee that I'm drinking right now is bitter. Usually I get two extra pumps, but I think they forgot about it. Ugh.

After a long day of stress and extensive extracurricular activities, I'm finally home. I like to pretend that I'm not stressed when I know that I really am so that it's easier to ease everything. Third quarter is ending and teachers are cramming everything this week. I can't wait until Spring break starts already. I hope my plans with spending time with people and resting will be achieved. I have yet to find a prom dress.

Yeah, I don't have anything interesting to say in my blogs.

Motivated

I'm done with being unhealthy (emotionally).
I lack optimism and strength.
Whatever it takes, I'm motivated and determined to get there.
I've done this before so it shouldn't be that bad. Right?

I'm thankful for all the wonderful people in my life.
Say (All I need).

"If you long for a change in the world,
It begins in the individuals self.
Don’t ever think that you're not good enough,
Because one person can lead others out of the rough. "

Be the change.

Good bye, Season Two

The Secret Life of the American Teenager's Season Two ends today. I must say that this season was really good. Can't wait for the next season. I guess I'm going to start watching Greek now, since its new season starts next week. I don't know why I'm talking about television shows when I never used to watch them before. I think it's kind of inevitable for me to turn on the t.v. since I actually have my very own now.

I can't believe we have our first graduation practice tomorrow already. Going to a private school requires practice, practice, practice..for everything. Everything needs to be perfect because of tradition. I think that's a pretty good thing though. Hmm.

I need to stop getting distracted. It's so hard not to when Spring break is just around the corner. Can't wait! For now, I must stay focused.

I must say, Daren Kagasoff (Ricky), is really handsome. Despite his character as the bad boy and father of Amy's baby, he is beautiful. Yumm.

Surprised

But mediocre.

I hope I did the right thing.

Super Duper Saturdays

It was a fun-filled night.

Apparently

Prom season is in progress. This year, I'm going to three proms and I've created ways to spend less. However, I would like to look my best for my prom of course :) Being on the newspaper staff, I've created a layout of "Ways to Spend Less for Prom" and I realized how little I spent on prom last year. I went to four proms last year, and the only things I had to buy were my prom dress for Radford and Sacred Hearts. I only paid for bids that were for my prom, borrowed dresses, and got discount for make-up, etc. Everything else was paid by my date.

Anyways, I'm pretty excited for my last prom in high school. I'm glad I got asked to Damien prom though because their prom is really fun. On the other hand, I must go dress searching. Speaking of searching, I don't even have a date to my own prom yet. However, I've got a while (sort of) to find a date. Hopefully someone I can have fun with.

Slacking, much?

Last night I gave up on studying for my Physiology test, which isn't normal because I ALWAYS study. I know it sounds pretty nerdy, but I love science. However, I wasn't in the mood to study because I was having a shitty night. I even considered staying home, until I remembered I had a English presentation to do. Ugh. I never thought it would actually hit me, but I think I'm experiencing major senioritis. 

Anyways, my slacking off resulted in a bad day at school. I guess being accepted into college and stuff is causing me to "cruise." It's ridiculous. I wanted to slap my face this morning when I got my Principal's List pin at the division meeting. I can't slack off right now. In about 2 and a half months, school will be over. I need to keep myself in check. Third quarter ends next week, then Spring Break starts. I'm excited. I can't believe how quickly time is passing right now. One more quarter and then it's graduation. WTF. 

Despite whatever has been going on, I'm getting by. I've never felt better. I know that I'm strong and capable to accept whatever comes my why. I'm done with feeling sorry for myself and letting situations take over me. It's time to grow up and accept it. Everything happens for a reason. 

Target

Today I visited the Target at Kapolei with my family. It was really busy going there and the weather was being ugly. It seems like it was raining or drizzling the entire day. Anyways, Target reminds me of an upgraded Wal-Mart and NEX. But I really like it there. They have really cute stuff and they don't look "cheap" or anything. It was really hard to shop there though because they had a limited amount of electricity. Probably half the lights in the store were working. It was pretty humid too, so we didn't stay too long in there. I bought a shelf thing whatever for my bathroom and this cute monkey trash bin. Haha. 

Uhm..then we went to Waikele. I didn't buy anything because I was too busy watching my little cousins play on almost every ride at the Waikele outlets. However, I did find this black and white dress that I'm going to buy...hopefully tomorrow. I love Spring, can't wait to wear dresses. But with this ugly weather, seems like I won't be able to anytime soon. I'm having a hard time saving money nowadays, especially when it comes to food. It's hard being skinny and trying to gain weight because I always seem to be food-less at home. Which means I always have to buy fastfood or something when I'm out. 

The weekend is too short. I have to do my homework now. I hate doing it on Sundays.

Point and shoot

My current favorite song by Pepper and tonight's theme song. 

The girls (6 out of the 8) went out on a "Girl's Night". Lexi was busy doing her play for Footloose and Tina's at the Big Island for Astronomy, which explain their m.i.a. Anyway, we went to Ala Moana to wait for the girls who work at Thinker Toys/Tots to finish work at 9:30. While waiting for them, I bought KidRobot keychains for my phone (Which btw, makes my phone heavy). Thanks to Chelsie, I got discount. 

We headed to Waikiki for American Apparel and Volcom. Then being the bad Catholics that we are, ate some type of meat at the Pho 777 in McCully. It was almost midnight by then though. I had fun, even though I felt sleepy and a bit melancholy. I'll get over it. 

My body aches

So I've been exercising lately because I'm really determined to have a nice body. Along with exercising, I've been eating a lot so that my body would balance out. Haha. I know it's kind of lame or whatever, but I seriously think I'm out of shape. I may be really skinny but that doesn't mean I shouldn't exercise. Anyways, due to my exercising, my body's been aching. Adding on to my aches, I had to do 50 push-ups for Physiology yesterday. But hey, I'll probably become "tick" or something. Eww. Just kidding.

Hm, so I've narrowed down my two options for colleges: A college here or San Francisco State. USF isn't even part of the picture anymore because it's seriously way too expensive. However, I hate knowing that I have a bigger chance in staying here for college. If money wasn't such a huge part in going to whatever college I wanted, it would be such a breeze. But it's not like that. Ugh, whatever. I graduate in a couple of months already, hopefully I make my decision by then.

Uhm, yeah. Now I need to study for my Pre-Cal test tomorrow. I probably won't do well on that test. How sad. Adios.